Get Off Your Arse

You're in a slump at work, or you're not working at all. You find yourself being negative and blaming those around you including your boss, family or friends for your lack of sleep, poor performance or bad attitude.

It's time for a wake up call.

Get off your arse and get some stuff done.

It's not your family or nagging boss that's the problem, it's you. Take note of what it is you're complaining about and look for the underlying cause.

Is your boss nagging you about slow sales or a project that's late? It's most likely not that your boss is having a bad a week. It's more likely that your boss has identified something you're either not doing well or aren't doing at all.

Criticisms whether from inside ourselves or from others usually have a basis in fact. Listen to yourself and those that know you best. Identify the problems that need attention and get some stuff done.

When you're done fixing the problem, don't look for a pat on the back for doing something expected of you. Turn to the next problem and fix it.

Before long you'll find you have a better attitude and your friends, colleagues and family aren't so bad after all.

Now stop “hangin' out” on the internet and get some stuff done!

Inspirational Meditation - The Power of Positive Thought

A friend was diagnosed with cancer about 4 years ago. He fought like all cancer patients do to rid his body of the disease. He endured chemotherapy and radiation treatment. After months of doctors visits, the doctor gave him less than a year to live.

Though thoroughly exhausted, he set his mind to regain control of his life.

He started a routine of meditating on a mental image nightly before going to sleep. The image he focused on was angels coming down from heaven and carrying his cancer away. He continued this process for months until one day he was declared cancer free.

Four years later and this friend is still cancer free, living life to its fullest.

Taking Care of Your Image

Contributed by Guest Blogger, Jodi Reichstadt

In today’s competitive job market, you have to be extra aware of yourself in order to land that next job. Whether you’re just entering a job market, doing a career change or re-designing yourself due to a layoff, personal attentiveness is key.

How much do you know about you?  Well, have you Googled yourself lately? If you’ve captured the attention of your next employer, chances are that they have. 

I recently attended a conference where the focus was managing your image on the Internet.  The major corporations are now hiring “Online Image Managers”. These people’s focus is to seek and find items that could blemish their reputation and/or control conversations about the brand’s they represent.

What this means to you is very important looking towards the future. You need to tread lightly where social networks are concerned. I’m sure you’ve heard stories of people calling in sick only to be “tagged in the amazing party pictures from last night”.  Having a billion friends on your MySpace or Facebook as well as a plethora of “connections” on Linked In or “followers” on Twitter may come back to get you in a negative way.  I have a client who had someone impersonate him on Twitter, putting up a profile with his picture and bio information.  This is a serious infraction of “you” and how you want others to see you, especially in today’s job market.  My client is fighting to have it removed before any real damage can be done.

Since the competition for jobs is fierce and there are hundreds of applicants that look as good as you do, take an inventory of yourself.  Is it time to clean out the closet and remove behaviors from your life that could potentially harm? Is it time to remove someone from your “network” that may have a negative reflection on you?  It’s important to understand that everything you do online is written forever and you need to pay attention to yourself in addition to how you comment on other people’s topics of conversation; anything negative could be perceived by a potential employer as a “deal-breaker”.

Take care of yourself inside and it will show on the outside.  Take care of yourself on the outside and you won’t need to worry about finding yourself being passed up for the next opportunity.  Think first so you won’t have to waste your time or energy cleaning up messes that will destroy the image you are working dutifully to build.

This entry was contributed by guest blogger, Jodi Reichstadt of The Publicity Studio.  Jodi is a public relations and marketing guru specializing in new media forms like Twitter, Facebook and MySpace.

Redefining Success - Part 1 of a 2-Part Series

Have you heard the saying “With success comes happiness?” Is that true? What comes to mind when you think of “success”? Traditionally we rate a persons success in terms of income, possessions, the “big job” and the power held. Traditional thinking would suggest that if you achieved all of those things you would be very successful and in turn a very happy person.

Some time ago, a woman described her husband to me as “very successful”. She continued to tell me that he had a “big job” as an engineer working for city planning commissions and made a lot of money. Further they lived in an above average sized home in a wealthy suburb and they sent their kids to private school. According to traditional thought, he was a successful person. You know where this is going, don't you? If happiness were dependent on success, then why had he asked her for a divorce?

It is hard to imagine an unhappy person being truly successful.

WHAT IS "HAPPINESS?" - A COACHING EXERCISE

Ask yourself these questions:

• What ideas come to mind when I think of “happiness”?

• What makes me happy? And what is the underlying issue or idea that contributes to that happiness?

• When do I feel the most happy?

Happiness will be defined by everyone differently, but I suggest that there will be a few common themes.

Service: Many people report that they are most happy when they are helping other people. Some people will say “When I am making a difference.” The idea is that you are serving to help people or a group of people in some way. This is true for me and a significant reason why I am in this profession.

Satisfaction: Happiness in terms of satisfaction boils down to being free of “want”. Being “wantless” could be being free of monetary needs, but more likely it means being content with who you are and what you stand for. Being truly satisfied with where you are in life is the theme.

Meaningful Relationships: Overwhelmingly, people describe relationships as a source of happiness for them. Spouses, parents, kids and friends are important factors in personal happiness. Quality interactions with loved ones that minimize superficial give and take and focuse on meaningful discussion and mutual support give way to happiness. Similarly, discomforting interactions with bosses, family members, colleagues and friends have the opposite effect and can reduce happiness. I have lived by this motto for years: If someone is not adding anything to your life, then they have no reason to remain in your life. Subscribing to that ideal requires deep insight and making difficult decisions.

Wisdom: Happiness is reported by some people to be related to wisdom and knowledge. Wisdom is not the same as being highly educated. Education does not necessarily guarantee happiness, success or an understanding of life's issues. Having experienced the roller coaster of life, people often feel more at ease and more happy with where they are. They have enjoyed the highs and survived the lows and through their journey they have come to understand the human spirit. They can achieve wisdom which provides insight and perspective that contribute to happiness.

Do any of these themes ring true for you? Have I missed something that you consider an important part of your personal happiness? Please comment or email your ideas.

WHAT IS "SUCCESS?" - A COACHING EXERCISE

Ask yourself these questions:

• What qualities in other people do I consider successful?

• What qualities do I have that I consider successful?

• What personal and professional characteristics do I have that other people value as successful?

As with happiness, success will be defined differently by virtually everyone. I propose however, that a new definition of success should rely less on monetary success and more on achievement of personal happiness. Monetary success and happiness are not mutually exclusive, but they are not dependent on the other either.

In Part 2: Meeting your personal needs through your job and defining your professional success in terms of happiness...

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people discover success and happiness in life and work. Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone through the IMAGINE SOLUTIONS GROUP at 612.326.4717.)

What Your Resume Doesn't Say is as Important as What it Does

Savvy hiring managers scan numerous resumes quickly with the intent of filtering them into a small and manageable number of candidates.  Presenting only part of the picture on a resume can get you pitched to the discard pile and is sure to spark the “Thank you for expressing interest in XYZ Corp... Your resume will be kept on file for future consideration,” email.  Because everyone has a slightly different style and is looking for a different candidate it's impossible to say what needs to be included or excluded.  However there are a few things you should consider when building or revising a resume.

In broad terms, there are only three kinds of resumes: The “Newbie,” The “Experienced” and The “Focused.”  Each resume has its distinct advantages and can be equally disadvantaged.  Understanding what type of resume you have can help you identify areas needing extra attention.

The Newbie:

Welcome to the working world.  Here you will find 1000's of people with similar or better experience as you clawing for the same job.  You're a “Newbie.”  Students and stay-at-home parents are most commonly Newbies, but you might have your own reasons for landing in this category.  You'll need to remind yourself that everyone applying for this position starts at the same place, with a piece of paper.  Your advantage over other candidates might be that you have few preconceived notions about how things should be, you are open to new ideas and “mold-able” for organizations with strict procedures.  Your challenge in creating a resume is clearly defining your skills and experience without relying on the traditional “work experience” category.

The Experienced:

You've been around the block and your work experience shows it.  You've had multiple jobs in varying industries.  You might even have gaps in employment.  You're an “Experienced” candidate.  Your work experience says a lot about who you are, but might not reflect the right image.  You've bounced around, tried new things and have gained experience and wisdom along the way.  For the hiring manager it will either be big a big red flag (“This person has no focus and lacks commitment.”) or an exclamation point (“A creative, out-of-the box thinker with many capacities.”).  The “work experience” category will tell the manager “what.”  You need to fill in the blanks with the “why” and “how.”  Bringing it all together to create interest and understanding is the challenge. 

The Focused:

A straight forward career path from school to where you are today is the hallmark of the “Focused” candidate.  Your degree led you to your fist job and you might still be there today.  If you branched out it was to other organizations in the same field where you performed essentially the same role.  You expanded your career by accepting new responsibilities along the way.  You have succeeded in passing the first test of most hiring managers, the continually employed test.  Your resume however doesn't likely give much insight into the real “you.”  Your challenge is to express yourself in terms of passion and drive.  While doing so, you might give some insight into personality and special interests.

These are the basic types of job applicants that hiring managers come across.  Depending on the job you're applying for, your resume can get flicked into the circular file simply for falling into one those categories (“He doesn't have enough work experience to do this job effectively.”  “She lacks the focus necessary to do this job effectively.”  “He's too set in his ways to do this job effectively.”)

Whether you are creating a resume from scratch, or revising an old one, consider how you can present yourself in each of the three ways at the same time.  The resulting resume is likely to keep you in the running and produce more follow-up interviews.

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people discover success and happiness in life and work.  Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone at 612.326.4717.)

Great Achievements - The Big Story Behind Small Ideas

You might not know the story behind Post-it Notes. The amazing glue that leaves no residue and allows Post-its to be used again and again, was developed 10 years before a use was discovered for it. As it happened, 3M employee Art Fry was struggling to keep his bookmark from falling out at church. He remembered that his coworker had invented an interesting adhesive and he gave it a try. Soon Art was putting the glue on small pieces of paper and sticking them to his filing cabinet. Years went by before 3M finally launched the product.

When I was putting IMAGINE Employee Assistance Program LLC together with my business partner, we were tossing several potential names around for the business. My 14 year old daughter was browsing through the list when “Imagine” grabbed her attention. She grabbed a pencil and started scribbling some ideas on a piece of paper (It was actually a purple Post-it and I'm now wondering how many business ideas have been jotted on Post-its). She was pretty excited when she presented me with the Acronym she had come up with.

Inside Many Achievements Great Ideas Need Exploring

I'm admitting now that at first I wasn't all that excited. The name didn't seem to fit with the employee assistance program we were launching, but I kept thinking about it none the less. It was catchy.

About a week later I set out to formalize my coaching practice which I had informally been doing for some time. I found myself again debating various different company names when “IMAGINE” hit me like a laser right between the eyes. That's what coaching is all about; exploring ideas and turning them into measurable achievements. I like the acronym and it's staying.

In a small way, the choosing of my company name is like the Post-it story. A small quirky idea that wasn't exactly right for one business idea, is entirely perfect for the other. The lesson is that no matter how silly an idea seems to start with, there is always the possibility that it can work if not immediately, at some other place or time.

During goal development and brainstorming sessions, ideas tend to pour out. I suggest to clients that they keep these notes and refer to them when they're stuck or in a rut. Items that were overlooked previously may be just the solution they're looking for.

Integrity -vs- Deception

I met an Amway salesman this week, except he didn't tell me he was an Amway salesman.

I've come across this pitch so many times, I could probably give it. “I'm an online distributor of household supplies. I have a web store that provides all of the things you can find at a big box store and at unbeatable prices.” The pitch continues, “I'm looking for strong, talented people that really want to better their lives.”

WHOA! The conversation went from owning an internet super store to looking for a “few good men.”

What is it about these guys that they can't tell you what they sell and who's writing their paychecks? I conversed with this guy for better than 30 minutes and not once did he mention that he is an Amway distributor or that they've renamed their business Quixtar. Could it possibly be that they know Amway and Quixtar are synonymous with deceptive sales people and boring coffee meetings at Denny's?

Whether it's your business or your personal life, it's imperative that you have integrity and practice honesty in everything you do. Integrity means always doing the right thing even if you will personally suffer. Integrity means making difficult decisions and following through. Integrity means we can trust each other. It's the opposite of deception. It's the antithesis of misleading.

I refuse to purchase from businesses that lack integrity or fail to follow through on promises. I refuse to be anything more than an acquaintance of anyone that is dishonest.

When you're making plans for a new business endeavor or looking into a new job, ask yourself, “Will I be able to tell everyone I meet that [I am in this business] or [I work for this company]?” If you hesitate in the slightest about answering “yes,” it's likely you are acting in conflict with your value system. Chances are integrity and forthrightness will prevail in your subconscious.

Afterward: I personally don't have anything against Amway or Quixtar (the same thing). In fact it is a business model that works for some people. My experience however is that the “distributors” of Amway don't talk about “Amway” or “Quixtar” until you are well into their coffee presentation. My preference, as someone who has been through a couple of these meetings, is to have all of the information up front rather than vague, canned phrases. In other words, a little less deception please!

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people discover success and happiness in life and work. Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone at 612.326.4717.)

Are You Happy?

Answer this question right now...

“Are you happy?”

There are many things in life that effect our happiness. Most of them are things, people and actions that we can't control. It's probable the secret to happiness that most of us do naturally, but give little thought to, is just “being” happy. Separating ourselves from external problems and keeping a positive frame of mind allow us to “be” happy.

Still there are days that seem extra difficult and it becomes a challenge to stay on top of the happiness pillar. During these times it helps to have a few tricks to make happiness easier.

Try these:

• Write a letter of gratitude. A study by Kent State University found that when people express gratitude they report being happier. The added benefit is that you'll also make someone else happy!
  
• Learn a new joke. Everyone likes jokes, but not everyone can remember them. There are 1000's if not millions of websites dedicated to jokes and riddles. Learn a joke and share it with someone. You'll be happier for doing it even if it's a bad one like this: “What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.” (Borrowed from parentinghumor.com)
  
• Call a friend you haven't spoken with for a while. As all facebookers know, getting in touch with old friends stirrs up all kinds of good memories. Sharing the experience with one in particular with bring you both happiness.
  
• Choose to be happy. I couldn't leave this one out. It's your decision. Making the right one is easy.
  

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people discover success and happiness in life and work. Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone at 612.326.4717.)

Masking Anger as Grudges - "Does this help?"

Many of us have what we like to call “grudges” that we hold against people and organizations that have either caused us hardship, or threaten our sense of safety. Although we call them grudges, but they are actually manifestations of anger that we have yet to resolve.

Years ago I wrote an editorial piece in “The Daily Cardinal,” a student newspaper in Madison, Wisconsin. I presented an argument that was logical and well thought out. The next day “The Daily Cardinal” ran an editorial cartoon portraying me as an anti-Semite complete with a swastika on my sleeve. What the author failed to consider was that I have very close Jewish relatives and often celebrated the Jewish holidays with them. The accusation was entirely false and yet I was emotionally hurt. I reread my original piece several times trying to decipher what information the cartoonist had considered anti-Semitic. In fact, there was nothing in my writing or elsewhere that would lead someone to think that I was anti-Semitic. Why then did the cartoonist characterize me in that way?

As a young college student, I had never been publicly scrutinized. It was a shock to my self esteem and caused me to stay clear of public criticism for years afterward. What I realized much later was that the cartoonist, who by the way didn't sign the cartoon with a name, but rather a pair of initials, had been holding a grudge against me for something that had happened long before I wrote that piece and for something that had no correlation with his accusations. I often wonder if he felt any relief after drawing that cartoon and having it published. It is clear that his actions were made out of anger rather than rational thought. If he had addressed the issue with me directly I would have been able to understand his position and we could have possibly worked things out. In contrast, he chose to make a blanket statement about my character that was entirely false and served no purpose other than to confuse the people who knew us both personally. He let his anger get in the way of rational thought and in the end, he positioned himself as being irrational and spiteful.

I once considered it normal to carry anger around as “grudges.” Grudges are not normal and they are not healthy. Holding negative emotions inside rather than addressing them, can have negative effects on your personal and professional lives. Further, grudges carried by one person are often passed among other people in similar social circles. The simple act of carrying a grudge spreads ill will among like minded people and spreads negativity. To what ends does that serve?

Two things all people should be able to do when they are angry are:

1. Tell yourself that you and only you are responsible for your actions. The same is true for everyone else. If you are responsible for your actions, then your neighbor is responsible for his actions. You cannot control the actions of others. Tell yourself, “he did that because of his issues, not mine.” When you make this distinction in your mind, then you will automatically free yourself from the emotions tied to anger.

2. Address the subject of your anger directly. If you are angry about something that someone did to you, address the issue directly with that person. Make a real attempt to understand that persons perspective and clearly state your concerns. You may find that the other person is not capable of seeing your side, but you will feel better that you have addressed the concern. If you are carrying a grudge against a company or organization, ask yourself what purpose your anger is serving. If you can identify the purpose for your anger, you can find an alternative means of serving the same purpose.

Merriam-Webster.com defines a grudge as “to be unwilling to give or admit.” If you find yourself carrying grudges, you might consider “admitting” that you are responsible for your own actions. Admitting your responsibility is the first step in creating success in your life. When you can free yourself of the binds, real or imagined, that other people have put on you, you will be able to move toward the attainment of your goals.

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people discover success and happiness in life and work. Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone at 612.326.4717.)

Do You Have the Gumption to Achieve Success?

A study by Yale University in 1953 concluded that people who set goals and write them down are not only more likely to achieve them, but they are happier people than those who don't set goals. You may not have heard about that study, but you've probably heard the results time and again.

How are your New Years resolutions coming along? Have you given up yet? If you haven't written your goals down, you are far more likely to fail at achieving them than you would be if you take the next steps.

1. Convert your New Years resolutions to goals. Converting the resolutions to goals formalizes the action of goal setting.

2. Write down your goals for the year. Don't leave any out – write them all down no matter how ridiculous they seem.

3. On another sheet of paper, categorize them by order of importance to you. Create 5 columns labeled one through five and with “1” being the most important, place all of your goals into the appropriate column.

4. On yet another sheet of paper, write all of the goals from category 1 and place a target date for achievement.

If you do those four things, the statistics say that you will be more than twice as likely to reach your goals than you otherwise would be. Take the next steps and you are almost guaranteed to find success.

1. Frame your categorized goals and your dated goals and hang them over your desk, or somewhere you will see them daily.

2. Except for any goals that are entirely private in nature, tell the important people in your life about your goals.

3. Seek advice from trusted resources on how you can attain your goals.

4. Identify obstacles to achieving your goals. Write down the things you need to do to overcome the obstacles.

5. Put the target dates on your calendar and set reminders at regular intervals for milestone achievements.

There's one final thing you need to do: “Be the part.” If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, act as if it's already gone. Exercise and do the things you plan on doing when the pounds are gone. Think of yourself as 20 pounds lighter. If your goal is start a new business endeavor or get promoted in your current position, this can seem like a difficult thing to do, but it's not. Tell people about your new company. Ask for and accept new responsibilities at work. Dress as if you're the boss. Find your ideal self in everything you do, and you will discover the rewards of goal attainment.

Can you do this? You can! If you don't believe me, contact me and I'll show you how.

(Brandon Johnston is a Life and Transition Coach assisting people balance their lives in ways they never dreamed were possible. Brandon can be reached by email at brandon@coachbrandon.net, or by phone at 612.326.4717. The first session is always free.)

Power Thinking

It's an amazing phenomenon: Your thoughts determine your every action and emotion.

Pause for a moment and reflect on the implications of that statement.

While driving in your car, someone cuts you off and abruptly steps on the brakes.  You have the option to cuss, swerve, use foul gestures and emit any number of negative emotions and actions.  You have the option of being angry and dwelling on the evils that person is spreading.

Or you can say to yourself, "I am calm, cool and collected."  "I am in control."  "I am responsible."

Responding to negative stimuli with anger, frustration and negative emotions will produce further consequences for your body.  Your muscles will tense.  You might get slightly nauseated.  You might start sweating and your voice might get shaky.

Responding with a positive, self-responsible thoughts will produce calming and strengthening effects on your body.  You will feel in control and relaxed.

At work you can choose to belittle your coworkers for not meeting your expectations for timeliness or production value.  You can choose to pass negative rumors and complaints about your boss and the company you work for.  Doing these things will make you less productive, less likable and less likely to succeed.

The other option is to tell yourself that you are exceeding the expectations of others, that you are in control and that you are responsible for your own success.  Taking this path, you will succeed, be in control of your destiny and will surpass the expectations of others.

Positive thinking not only effects our internal happiness, but it also effects the way in which other people see us.  Positive people are more likable, are more likely to succeed by fostering positive relationships and are more likely to be promoted or rewarded for their achievements.

If you make just one change in 2009, let it be that you convert your internal, self-talk from negative to extremely positive.  Doing this will subconsciously tell your body and your peers that you are in control and responsible for yourself.